Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
