And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize