I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
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