Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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