At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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