Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize