My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
