hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize