Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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