Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize