I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize