Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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