She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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