You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
