You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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