I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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