im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
