was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
