Fuck appropriateness.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
love makes seman taste better
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
