Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
That accounts for only three of the penises
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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