were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I have aggressive nipples.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
