If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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