is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize