let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize