think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Randomize
