They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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