Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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