At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
