some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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