You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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