WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
