I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
