so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
