You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
