i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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