I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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