I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
