I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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