Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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