Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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