After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
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Do I have a choice?
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The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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