I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
We are all done wearing pants today
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
