I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
you never un-have a 4some
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
