MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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