I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
