I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize