dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
