Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
PANTIES FOUND
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