I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
