then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
