The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
