If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
