worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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