seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
