she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Randomize
