i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize