My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
