i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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