Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
