why im i the only drunk person in the library?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize