i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
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I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
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His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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