It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
