The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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